Mother and daughter issues (reading for Samantha)

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Once again, I got permission to post a reading here on the blog (feedback will be added in later, so please check back in a day or two if that sounds interesting to you is added now, indented and green).

Samantha’s question was this:

I’d like to know why I am feeling negatively towards my mother these days, and what I might do about this.

2 – 1 – 3

1. SituationThe Snow Angel

A young woman with black-feathered wings in an elegant red dress stands in a snowy landscape. She looks a bit defiant, as if she’s about to roll her eyes at someone like an annoyed teenager. The card is subtitled “The signs are with you already!”

I believe your feelings towards your mother are rather cold at the moment. You may want to have more freedom than she wants to grant you, and now things are a bit frosty between the two of you. The subtitle makes me think this has been in the making for a while now, but you’re only just now noticing it (like when fall is happening for quite a while but you’re still always surprised when it actually snows the first time).

I think cold is quite a good adjective here.Its probably the one I would have chosen had I been asked. Freedom is at the root of this, but not in a tangeable sense (I’ve made my life abroad for more than 20 years) its more a desire to break free of a mind set I acquired when much younger and is still at the root of some behaviours and attitudes today. Its not so much that I am only noticing these now, but that I am only now attempting to deal with them in a systematic/thorough way (through counselling etc); previous attempts were somewhat piecemeal.

2. CauseSea Storm

A woman’s body is rising from a stormy ocean. Bolts of lightning hit the water in the background, and the woman’s hair is flying in the wind. She seems to be a sea creature, and maybe even the cause of the storm (either way, she isn’t harmed by it and doesn’t seem to be afraid). The card’s subtitle is “Calm amidst chaos.”

It looks as if some pretty strong emotions are behind/below the snowy surface. Have you been fighting? Maybe even being a bit provocative? Or have you (or one of you) suppressed your feelings, maybe for fear of hurting the other? At any rate, there has been some upheaval, and it hasn’t been properly dealt with, so its effect is still active.

In this relationship I definately keep and kept my feelings hidden. I grew up walking on egg shells, anxious not to upset my mother, so you are right about suppressing feelings. I don’t think I entered into an argument until I was in my late 20’s, and still dislike confrontation with her, though I am getting better at standing my ground. I’m not sure what the upheaval is relating to, but would agree that the dynamic of our relationship and the coping mechanisms I learnt as a child are still active today.

3. SolutionOut Trick-Or-Treating

Three figures can be seen on this card: A skull-headed person in black leather who is holding a pumpkin-shaped basket, a gothy girl with red and black hair and a Gothic Lolita-style dress, and a tall pumpkin-headed one in an old-fashioned coat. Something green bubbles within a cauldron in front of them. The subtitle says “We’re heee-eeere!”

Are there other members of your family involved? If so, you all need to get together to resolve this.
The girl stands out most for me here because her look is pretty intense. Compared to the previous two cards, she doesn’t hold anything back. If she doesn’t like something about you, she’ll tell you in no uncertain terms – no playing cool or keeping up a front here! She also has gotten herself some support, just in case things are a bit much to handle for her alone.

No, there arent any other family members involved in this. We were a one parent family, which has alot to do with how strong the ties are between us; for good and bad!
Im guessing the girl in this card is what I could morph into?! In a way I can see the lure of not holding back, but would hope to temper this with some compassion? I probably should have been this character twenty plus years ago! That said, I take the point about not “keeping up a front.”
I feel that the support you are seeing is the counsellor I mentioned.

For some reason, this is also the most independent card for me. Or maybe I should say, the most grown-up card. The declaration “We’re heee-eeere!” announces that whatever issues are the bottom of this won’t go away until you face them and deal with them. If you do so, there will be a reward (a treat), and if you don’t, they will continue to bother you (trick you).

I have no idea how old you are, or if this is just the deck’s energy, but it all feels rather “teenagey” to me. That’s not meant as a value judgement, just as a description of a certain energy or theme I pick up here: issues of independence, asserting oneself in a way that isn’t judgmental about the other one, and dealing with the “shadow” side of things.

I’m hoping that the counselling will lead to some possitive rewards for me. I know that its going to require time, effort and commitment on my part….and your reading backs this up!

I hope this reading is useful to you! Please let me know if there is anything I can clarify for you.

Thanks for the reading Cat :) I think it was an accurate overview, and seems to confirm that I am heading in the right direction.

Note: I find this deck relatively hard to read. I think I generally do better with more interaction between the card characters and their companions/environment – or no figures at all.

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