Tag Archives: oracle

First, let’s get confused (Rune Cards)

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Here’s my first reading with the Rune Cards.

—1—
2—–3

I’m going to look at the card image alone first and will then consult the little white book (LWB) that comes with the deck. I’m giving the Anglo-Saxon rune names first, followed by the Elder Futhark names (if applicable) in parenthesis, if only so I can learn all names. The images are borrowed from another website that I sadly haven’t bookmarked, so I can’t tell you the source.

1. Where am I in terms of my spirituality right now?Aurochs / Ur (Uruz)

Two big drinking horns lie on a table, together with a die that has the rune of “ur” carved on it. One of the drinking horns has metal decorations at the rim and point, the other is left plain. A male aurochs stands in the background, facing the left and looking slightly to the front. (Actually, the animal looks more like a buffalo than an actual aurochs, but for now I’m willing to accept that as artistic license.)

The opening of the decorated drinking horn is facing the viewer, looking a bit like an entrance to a cave or something. That makes me think of the oft-quoted tunnel-like passage that many shamanic journeyers encounter at the beginnings of their journeys (particularly to the Lower World). From the outside, it’s just a drinking horn, but there’s no telling where the inside passage leads. The fact that there are two entrances also suggests that choosing one (the right one?) might be of importance here. And the die makes me think that consulting an oracle (or, if you prefer that view, making a choice by a random method) might just be the way to go.

The aurochs itself makes me think of wild cattle and the role they played for our ancestors (I’m only referring to what is now roughly considered European territory here because that’s the cultural background of the runes and the illustrations of this deck. That’s not supposed to suggest that aurochs or other wild cattle weren’t present elsewhere.). Aurochs were hunted (I assume that all parts of their bodies were used for food, clothing, and tools)  and paintings of them appear in several prehistoric caves, such as Lascaux or Chauvet. All in all, it makes me think of a very early time in human history, and different ways of connecting to that ancestry (such as shamanic journeying, experiential archeology, scientific research, etc.). And that suggests that there is always more than one method to reach the goal of connecting, and that most likely a combination of them will bring the best (= most useful, most reliable, most respectful) results.

The fact that the animal depicted on the card is not actually an aurochs makes me think that I need to keep checking the “facts” of whatever I’m told is the “truth” about any spiritual path. While a bison or buffalo is probably closer to an aurochs than a Holstein dairy cow, it’s still not the same, and the difference may indeed matter. So this is not about just believing everything, even if it comes from an “expert” but to do my own research and verification process to get confirmation of something.

So, let’s see what the LWB has to add to that. The rune poem given for Ur consists of four stanzas and centers on the value of strength and the will to fight, as well as on the need to temper it with courage, determination, wisdom and cunning. In other words, “Those who have strength but lack strategy will become the captive of others.”

The divinatory meanings mention assertive strength again (not necessarily physical strength, though) and also speak of the need to conserve strength, to rest and recuperate.

All in all, I would say this card is about allowing for some time until I actively go into that cave/tunnel again (that is, before I take any further steps, especially on a shamanic path). Instead, some reflection of whose values and “truths” I want to take on as mine seems to be in order. And that makes a lot of sense, because I’m still busy shedding all the expectations of my former workplace and related environments and reconnecting to my “roots” (mostly of my own life history for now).

2. What’s the next step for me? What should I do?Weapon / Yr

This shows a scene of hands-on battle. There are a lot of helmets, swords, arrows, a few shields, and some faces contorted in yelling. Bolts of lighting strike down from the night sky, ravens (or crows) fly above the battlefield, and a big battle axe with the “yr” rune engraved on it is held up in the foreground of the picture.

I know that thunder(bolts) are associated with the hammer-wielding Northern god Thor, but I’m not sure that the ravens aren’t borrowed from Celtic/Irish mythology here (as related to the war goddesses Badb and Morrígan). However, Wikipedia tells me that “the word [for raven] was frequently used in combinations as a kenning for bloodshed and battle,” so I might be mistaken here.

The battle looks like a scene of much chaos, violence and fear to me, and it’s certainly not a scene that I’d happily enter. I’m in no way the type to engage in physical battle (although I believe I would be able to defend myself against a physical one-on-one attack), and even shy away from peaceful demonstrations or big concerts because I never trust “the masses” around me to be on my side when push comes to shove. However, the battle axe with the rune suggests a guiding principle which might just give structure (if not sense) to the chaos. The lightning bolts make me think of divine intervention, for better or worse, and suggest there might be a bigger plan to all of it, even if I can’t see it from my current point of view.

Besides the idea that finding my own guiding principles probably is a good idea before I enter any “battle” I’m not quite sure what this card is telling me to do.

Let’s see if the LWB can shed some light on this. The rune poem praises the use of the axe-hammer as a piece of war-gear and suggests it is a useful thing to have with you on a journey. The divinatory meanings for the card list several verbs that describe violent destruction of a thing or person and state that the “enemy could be an opponent or an illness, or anything that could be harmful to you.”

Right now, this seems to underline the wild aspect of the Ur card, so perhaps my reading of that as waiting some more before action takes place isn’t quite right? I hope the third card will clarify this matter some more!

3. What should I avoid?Ing (Ingwaz)

A big fire burns upon an otherwise snow-covered hill surrounded by a forest in the night. Its flames merge with a Green Man-like face made of what looks like oak leaves.

The depiction of a god or land spirit (I think that Ing is another name of Freyr, but I need to check that later on) makes this card different from the other two that only used things that are on the more material side of things (or symbols for deities like the flashes of lightning). In terms of something not to do as my next step I would think this means I’m not supposed to attempt any direct spirit communication at this point.

Okay, let’s check Wikipedia first. Ing, or Yngvi, is indeed an older name for the god Freyr. From what little I already know about the Northern deities, Freyr is a Vanir god and embodies a fertile masculinity that is much tied to the land and to sunshine and prosperity. Thor, on the other hand, is an Aesir god who is associated more with battle, protection, and physical strength. In other words, there are two different kinds of masculinity that appear as “do” and “don’t” for me in this reading.

That alone is rather interesting, since masculinity has indeed been an issue for me in the more recent past. Not only has my partner transitioned into an everyday life as someone who is almost always read as a “man” (despite his remaining self-identification as a third-gender butch), I have also been read as an “unfeminine” woman, especially in work-related contexts (despite my remaining self-identification as a queer femme). I have struggled (and continue to do so) with how the way his gender is perceived now changes the way my gender is perceived by others (no matter that the changes of his gender as I perceive it away from the rest world have actually been minimal – although that kind of separation is of course an illusion possible only for the sake of the argument). As a result, I’ve come to the realization that outside perception plays a much bigger role in one’s gender reality than I initially thought, and that includes the perception of the gender of the people we’re with. While this is all really fascinating in an academic way, it still means that I’m rather unsure of how to deal with this in my practical life.

I’m also wondering if this emphasis on traditionally “masculine” aspects is just a feature of this reading, or if it is part and parcel of Northern Tradition Paganism as such. I have touched on my own gender issues before, so I’ll just say here that it would be a problem for me if femininity and masculinity in Northern Tradition Paganism were divided along the same old lines of warrior and homemaker/caretaker.

But before I continue to draw the different parts of the reading together to make sense of them all, let’s see what the LWB has to say about the Ing card. Once again, I’m not sure how “purely” Northern the story of the Lord (Ing) and Lady (his sister Eostre) and Ing going to sleep over winter and being roused again by burning holly is (Wikipedia says that Freyr’s sister is Freya, not Eostre, and a superficial Google search finds no relation of Freyr to holly). In fact, the whole “Lord and Lady” business sounds awfully Wiccan to me (although, admittedly, Freyr and Freya actually mean Lord and Lady), and holly is mostly mentioned in relation to the twice-yearly fight of the Holly King and Oak King. At any rate, the LWB rune poem mentions Ing as a hero, and someone who traveled over water. It also lists a lot of positive associations along the lines of hope, optimism, fertility, rebirth, etc.

Well, that doesn’t help me much, I’m afraid. I think I shall continue with my own takes for now.

So let’s go back to whats actually on the cards. One thing that stands out to me is the very similar shape of the Ur and Yr runes. Yr looks like Ur with an extra line down. If I leave everything aside that I have read about the runes/cards during the assembly of this reading, I would say that it could be an extra grounding line. In that metaphor, Ur is the idea, the potential and Yr is the application, the manifestation of it. Nevertheless, the Yr and Ing cards are similar in how they show mostly sky (and spirit) and only a little bit of the earth/ground…

Well.

I think we can safely say that I’ve successfully managed to confuse myself to the point of wanting to scratch the reading in its entirety. I guess that what happens when I mix up research and divination to a point that goes beyond checking a fact that I already have in the back of my mind or looking up the translation of an idiom. The part that confuses me most is the battle scene of Yr as my “do” of this reading because I really can’t relate to that imagery at this point in my life. I don’t want to jump headfirst into any kind of battle, but I want to reflect and heal and go slowly instead.

I did learn a few things about this deck and about the runes as such during this reading, though, and that’s always a good thing. I realized that my usual way of reading cards (or other oracles) probably isn’t working very well with this deck as long as I want to use it to learn the runes as such, because what I see in the images is not what I read about the runes and what I would associate with the rune names, the respective stanzas of the rune poem translations, or the rune shapes themselves. I’m not giving up on the approach of doing both things at the same time (reading with this deck and learning the runes as such) just yet, but if future readings turn out to be equally confusing, I might have to do just that. In that case, I might have to decide whether to take this deck as a paper version of the runes (and ignore the images – which would beg the question why I would then use an illustrated deck) or to use the deck as I use my other oracle decks (and ignore the runes – which would lead me to wonder if it’s possible to learn the runes in some other way and still not get distracted by their presence in this oracle).

For now, I’d be grateful for any input on this reading by any of you. Maybe you know more about the runes and can give me some useful pointers about how to interpret what I drew here? Or maybe you see something in the card images that has escaped my attention? All reading methods are welcome!

New Deck (this time for reals!): Rune Cards

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I have been neglecting my tarot practice these past weeks, and I want to get back into it. So I’m once again picking a new deck, even though I haven’t done much with the World Spirit Tarot.

These are the random number-generated suggestions:

Looks like I’m supposed to go for an oracle, no matter what! And since I decided against the Rune Cards last week, I’m picking them for this week. So far, I have very little clue about and no experience at all with runes. I bought the cards hoping the images would make it easier for me to learn their shapes, names, and basic concepts (plus, they’re beautiful).

When the deck initially came to me, one card was there twice (Water/Lagu), and another one was missing (Riding/Rad). But I immediately got a copy of the missing card from the deck’s publisher after I wrote to them, so that’s taken care of.

I do know that the cards depict the 29 Anglo-Saxon or Futhorc runes, which have five more runes and slightly different names than the more commonly used Elder Futhark set. The deck also has an extra card called “wyrd” to signify a blank rune, but I won’t use that one (from what I read, it has been an invention of a modern author of a rune book).

I’ve also already collected a few links about the Anglo-Saxon runes in general which I’ll now go and add to the Decks & Resources page.

And now I’m really curious about my first draw!

New Deck: Shaman’s Oracle

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After a slightly extended week with Shelley, Bride of Frankendecken Tarot, it’s time to get back to the random number generator. Here are this week’s suggestions:

I think I’ll finally do the Shaman’s Oracle this week. It has been suggested a couple of times by now and it’s the one that seems most appealing from this list. My copy is trimmed so that only the card title remains.

I’ve only read a few times with this oracle, and always in a strictly “intuitive” way. Which is helped by my very, very limited knowledge about rock art. I hope I will find some time to learn a bit more about this topic, but I won’t get my hopes up too much for the work week ahead. (Especially since I didn’t even post a single “K” entry for the Pagan Blog Project in the past two weeks and definitely want to get back into the swing of things here with something interesting for “L” this week…)

J is for Junk Oracle

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This post is part of the Pagan Blog Project (PBP). It’s the second one for the letter J. While I certainly don’t want to stop the discussion that is going on at the last PBP post I wrote, I still want to get almost back on schedule with the project. This one is going to be a bit more light-hearted. It will also have more colorful pictures.

About two years ago, a member of the Aeclectic Tarot forum suggested doing an exchange of what she called “Flotsam and Jetsam oracle items.” Which of course begs the question: what on earth is a “Flotsam and Jetsam” oracle? They are more commonly known as Found Oracles or Junk Oracles. They are a bunch of things that were found/randomly acquired and that often would otherwise be considered worthless trash, used for oracular purposes. These things can be anything that’s fairly small which can be kept in a bag and dropped on a surface without breaking. Things like shells, old buttons, Lego minifigs, bones, marbles, small pieces of wood, Barbie accessories, broken pendants, crystals, plastic animals, stones, single earrings, badges, and so on (there’s a longer list in the link above). You need a fair amount of them to make up a good Junk Oracle, about as many as there are cards in an oracle or tarot deck (which means something between 35 and 80, although there really is no upper limit).

So where does the idea of a Junk Oracle come from? As far as I know, it has been inspired by divination practices like lithomancy (using stones/crystals), osteomancy (using bones), garoche (“tossing”),  Angolan/Chokwe divination baskets and other personal oracles/divination tools. What these methods have in common is that they use a collection of (usually differently-shaped) items that are then cast and read. Other than that, there are great variations in content and reading methods depending on the culture they come from.

How do you read with a Junk Oracle? We have come up with a variety of drawing and reading methods for our own Junk Oracles. You can draw a set number of items unseen from the container you keep them in. You can cast the items you drew (or even all of them) on a reading surface and then read any patterns you see (clusters, lines, groups, shapes…). You can use a reading cloth with marked areas that add meaning to the items that land there. You can let someone pick a number of items deliberately and then read them. You can assign set meanings to each item (here‘s an example for that), or you can read completely intuitively and go with whatever comes up during a specific reading. I’m pretty sure there are many other methods that also work.

At any rate, I ended up participating in the exchange, which was a lot of fun. Basically, we split into a handful of groups made up by a handful of people each (to keep overseas shipping costs down). Everyone then sent a little package of about five items to every other member of their group and in return got something from each of them. We were able to give some pointers such as “no plastic,” “no Christian symbology,” or “no animal parts” to each other, of course, so that no one got something they found seriously problematic and/or useless. I got an interesting selection of oracular items from my group (together with notes about the background stories of each item) and have used the resulting oracle with success. Here’s what I got, from four people from three different continents.

But I want to talk about another Junk Oracle today. It happened as something like a side effect of that exchange. You see, when we were sharing what items we would and wouldn’t like, several people mentioned they’d rather not have any plastic items as parts of their oracles. There seemed to be the underlying idea that plastic was a less worthy material than wood, glass, bone, or crystal because plastic wasn’t “natural” and that it therefore would be less useful as an oracle piece. There also were unspoken suggestions that an oracle like this should best consist of old and mysterious items laden with history. Of course that immediately made me want to create an oracle of the most plastic-y, trashy, pop-cultural items I could find.*

After some digging through some of my boxes and drawers with random stuff, nicking a few things from my nephew’s Lego collection (hey, it used to be at least half my Lego collection until I moved out of my parents’ house!), and buying more Kinder Surprise eggs than I usually would, I ended up with my Plastic Junk Oracle of 41 items (so far). I keep them in a bag made out of two really ugly fabrics (it was meant to be nothing but a test of the sewing pattern). The whole thing still feels very provisional, but that doesn’t keep me from using it every now and then.

This is how it looks. (I only just now noticed that the lining of the bag makes it look like a trash bag – how appropriate!)

Here’s an example reading, to give you an idea of how these things could work. I asked what I needed to know about my first few months of being deliberately jobless (which will start the first of July).

I reached into the bag of well-mixed items and grabbed a small handful of them unseen. I then dropped them onto a piece of folded-up fabric that provided a nondistracting background and a bit of padding. Six items are part of the reading, one of which landed next to the reading area (that’s the table of my sewing machine in the background).

The first two that draw my attention are the roof-down plastic ski hut and the owl right next to it. To me, these suggest a friend of mine who lives in a wooden house and has a special relationship to owls. Seems like she will play a role during that time – hopefully not by turning her house upside-down for me! The owl also symbolizes wisdom to me, so maybe this friend will have some valuable advice for me. Then again, the owl is also turned upside-down, so maybe I have to twist and turn round what she says in my mind a bit until it makes sense to me.

Then there is a Lego minifig of a red-haired female warrior with two axes. In this reading, she represents me (I picked her hair when I assembled her in the local Lego shop because it is most similar to my own, although my shade is more rust than tomato). For some reason, one of the axes looks like a shovel to me today, suggesting I may have to dig deeply. She’s also lying flat on her face, so I hope that doesn’t mean I’ll fall flat on mine! If I do, however, I will have to dig out myself. What’s more, the reason could just as well be my wanting to “go with my head through the wall” (a German idiom suggesting stubbornness to the point of hurting oneself).

It is most closely to a small padlock, with the keyhole side down. So maybe the approach of digging my way towards it through the ground/wall isn’t so bad after all! Sometimes, the best way is not the shortest one. The padlock once locked a diary of mine, which reminds me to journal about this process of digging.

The final item on the reading surface is a woman with a snake wrapped around her. She has a fierce expression and a fish necklace. I think she originally was some kind of sea monster. Clearly, she is not to be messed with. I read the snake both as a symbol of her power and as something that confines her like the swords in the Rider-Waite-Smith version of the Eight of Swords card do. So she is limiting herself with what she thinks about her own power. Looks like she may need a nudge to unleash it, even if doing so may not make her everybody’s friend (and even make her seem “dangerous” to some). Luckily, this figure makes a triangle with the Lego minifig and padlock, so I’d say that the digging and journaling may just end up helping me unlock my own power.

And then there is the item that landed next to the fabric. It’s a tiger in a blue sweater with a question mark logo and something like a diving mask. He stands with his arms and legs akimbo. He looks a bit like a superhero who forgot his cape (and pants). To me, this suggests that there will be no one waiting to save me, but that I need to dig out myself on my own (wise advice nonewithstanding). Since this figure landed to the top/north of the reading area, it could also mean that there is someone (like a guardian spirit or ancestor) watching over me although they won’t directly interfere with what’s going to happen.

To sum things up: The central item of the reading is the padlock, so I’m apparently meant to unlock something. I may have to go about it in a somewhat circuitous way, but that’s what will make the most sense to me. If I’m successful, it will help unleash a part of my power that I’m not accessing right now. My friend with the wooden house and owl connection may offer advice or something like a touching point or launchpad (the house originally could shoot out a skier), but the work will still all be mine to do.

I hope I have been able to give you an idea of how reading a Junk Oracle could work. Maybe you even feel inspired to create your own? Here’s another picture of mine, spread out in all its plastic-y, trashy, pop-cultural glory.

* (By the way, elf has written a great article about the “naturalness” of plastic. I found it through a mention in the comments of A Changing Altar’s recent post about synthetic things in Pagan practice.)

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Edited to add (24 May 2012):

Juniper from Walking the Hedge also has a really good post about her ‘collection’ (as she calls it), complete with a description, picture and drawing (great idea!) of a reading she did with it.

Taking stock of the transition

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It seems a good time to look back on the past years during which my partner’s transition took place.  (Perhaps I should point out that drawing a finishing line here is a bit random since there really is no clear start or end to this process. Just some landmarks to attach meaning to.) At any rate, I also wanted to try out the spread I developed this week. I modified it a bit to better suit my current situation.

Note: I’m not going to explain everything the reading touched upon for me in depth, so please don’t assume that I thought of the same things as you do when you read it.

—–8—–
—6–7—
2–3–4–5
—–1—–

1. This symbolizes my partner’s transition seen through my eyes.Heart

It really hit me hard/heart. It put my love to the test. Emotional rawness.

It just went on and on and on, seemingly without end.

It was all about cutting open the chest – that’s where it started (with his desire to get rid of his female-looking breasts) and that’s where it ended (with this desire fulfilled).

It brought up the question of where my heart leads me many times. There has been a lot of pressure. And I (re)visited some places I’ve been at before, in a quasi-circle.

2. How the transition affected my sense of identity/how I feel about myself.Batter

I was practically put through the blender… Parts of me got broken open and reintegrated in new ways, other parts got discarded. I know the bees in the picture are supposed to symbolize sweetness, but today they rather feel like the flies from the Housewives Tarot’s Death card to me. And yes, there were parts of me that died, and not always a gentle and easy death.

The batter in the picture will probably end up as a delicious dish, but for now it’s in a preliminary, in-between state that’s neither here nor there – and that’s exactly how I feel (and have been feeling for a long time). So the real frying pan is still to come? And if so, should this make me feel hopeful or fearful or both?

3. How it affected how I feel about my partner/our relationship.Clean out Closet

Oh yeah, I really went through the whole damn thing, looking at every single item trying to decide whether to keep it or throw it away because it doesn’t fit anymore. The clothes rails have become rather empty at times when I felt there really wasn’t much I/we could still wear! As the heap of clothes on the floor indicates, this work isn’t done yet. The next step will be taking stock of what’s left, and deciding what “pieces” we need to replace with an updated version, which ones we need to exchange for something else entirely, and which ones we don’t need anymore at all.

For me, this card also already implies the issue of erotic attraction since clothing has had major symbolical value for both of us in that area. And I did literally change the way I dress and how I feel about clothes. Let’s just say that I didn’t exactly end up in a happy place with that, but I’m still hopeful that I can change that again. Possibly by literally going through my clothes.

And finally, there’s the closet as a metaphor for being out as whatever non-majority thing one is… I certainly had to change what I could truthfully come out about, and doing so became a whole lot more complicated than it ever was before (there just isn’t any short way to explain who I am and what we are together anymore). In this context, the untidy heap of stuff on the floor is all the messy and complicated things that I usually just left out of conversations. But not talking about them didn’t make them go away, and they kept (and keep) burdening me. Sometimes I really wish there was a simple way to tell the truth about us…

4. How it affected my sexuality/desire (for my partner and/or generally).Swimming

At some point I stopped trusting that the waters would carry me safely. I thought I had to conform to certain patterns (like the synchronized swimming that’s happening here), and that didn’t work well. And just as we never went swimming together (to be fair: this wasn’t entirely due to the chest situation), there wasn’t much desire/sexuality happening for me in the past few years.

There was very little playing around in an element that I both enjoy being in tremendously and that also scares the shit out of me. I definitely spent a lot of time being scared and therefore avoiding even the smallest kind of exploration. To be fair, I can’t even tell how much of that loss of libido was really caused by the transition and related issues, because life isn’t so cut and dry. It still happened around the same time as the transition, so I have a hard time separating the two occurences.

At any rate, I practically lost all of my libido, with few exceptions to that rule. And this wasn’t just about my partner and the ways he changed. I also rarely felt any attraction to anyone else (real or fictional) and basically stopped being interested in sex generally (which is quite a big change for someone who used to basically study sexuality only a few years before).

I hope that I can find a way to change all this because it doesn’t make me happy.

5. How it affected my relation to the queer community.Grandma’s Handbag

It made it something that didn’t belong to me and that I couldn’t relate to (my grandmother never had a mysteriously-exciting Hermione-Granger-ish handbag with all sorts of things to take care of small emergencies). Instead, I often felt like I was the “old” woman who kept telling stories about how much better the butch-femme past had been, when there wasn’t such an emphasis on transitioning and femmes still were considered a fundamental part of the community instead of being shoved to the edges of the new trans(masculine) scenes. I couldn’t identify with the concerns of the new generation of queers who in turn couldn’t care less for my concerns. It just made me feel inadequate, unattractive, outdated and out-of-touch. That resulted in me not going out anymore and even leaving an online community that had been my virtual living room for many years, which in turn didn’t help with feeling as if I belonged to the queer community.

6. What I can do to best take care of my own needs from now on.Kitchen Table

I obviously need to find me a community again. I’m sick and tired of being isolated and alone, of never feeling included, and of also thinking of myself as a horrible host and a not much better guest. Maybe I even need to consider ways to live that aren’t limited to two people in a relationship sharing a tiny apartment that is located somewhat outside of everything.

At any rate, I miss cooking together and spending hours sitting at the kitchen table, talking about anything and everything. I miss having guests, especially spontaneous ones.

I miss being part of a group that works together on creating something important to all its members. I have no idea where to find all that again, but this card really speaks volumes to me about the need to seriously look for it and help create it.

Of course this is also about having someone to talk to about all of this (which I have, and I’m tremendously grateful for those people), so that’s something I’ll definitely continue!

7. Where I will find support as I continue to deal with the changes that the transition brought.Hairdye

I’m grinning here because this reminds me of the joys of dying my hair in all the colors of the rainbow (although not usually at the same time) and the excitement because you never knew how it would look before it was done. It also makes me think of spending time on one’s outward appearance (including hair, clothes, make-up, and jewelry) and not considering that a waste of time at all. It’s been a looong time since I felt like that! So yeah, I can see how I would find support in front of my mirror, transforming myself into this or that or that.

Perhaps there really is a spiritual element to these kinds of transformations, as the halo-like glow around the hairdye suggests. It might be interesting to explore the intersections of spirituality and outward appearance (which really never is about how you look but how that makes you feel)…

Either way, this card suggests that I need to change myself, possibly with the help of others (try coloring hair that is nearly waist-long with henna on your own and you’ll see why you’ve been provided with some fellow human beings who can wield a dyeing brush!). I believe the goal is to both make apparent who I am “inside” and to help me enjoy my body and the many different ways to make it look again.

8. Summary of where his transition has taken me.Truck

Somewhere else! It has put me in a possibly permanent in-between state. It has put me in a situation where I had to pack up the essential things to take with me and leave the rest behind. There may be a new home waiting for me somewhere else where I want to settle down, but I may also end up being permanently “nomadic” – always changing locations but still having my own space to withdraw to when I need to.

I’m heartened by the fact that the truck has a winged heart on its door, which to me suggests that love needs to be free to go where it needs to. It also means love will be with me, whereever I go. And since I can’t drive, I’m probably not going alone here. ;)

Which brings me to the U-Haul theme of moving together, symbolizing entering a committed relationship. Well, we’ve moved together already several years ago, but there may be another level of commitment to each other that the transition has made apparent. If we can handle that kind of crisis together, we can probably handle a lot of other potential crises as well (not that the transition was the only major crisis we already went through together!).

The truck also speaks of carrying a heavy load from one place to another. And it has been a heavy load to carry at times.

Finally, the heart on the door ties the reading back to the heart in the first card, suggesting that it may have been the experience (the path) that was important, not the goal.

—–

Well, that was an interesting rollercoaster of a reading alright! I still think there’s more depth to the reading than I could access right now, so I think I’ll leave out the spread for a few more days.

I’m very happy to see that the deck reads wonderfully for me (especially since a reading I did for someone else this week was completely off), and that it works well in a bigger spread, too. It seems to be a deck where going down more than one path in reading each card actually helps instead of confusing matters. It seems to be extraordinarily suited to accepting contradictions and weird associations. And I still love, love, love the artwork!