Tag Archives: reading

Birthday reading: Time to get out of that slump, baby!


For my birthday, I made up this spread (inspired by this, this, and this one). I had a very nice, lazy, joyful day today yesterday, so I’m getting to this pretty late. But since it’s for the entire year ahead I guess that doesn’t matter all too much. I’m still using the Tarot of the Silicon Dawn.

Here’s the layout overview complete with spread positions.


1. Past influences that are ending or passing out of my life
2. Issues carried forward from last year into the new year
3. My current material state
4. My current emotional state
5. My current spiritual state
6. Challenges that will be coming into my life in the near future
7. Opportunities that will be coming into my life in the near future
8. Where I would like to be on my next birthday
9. What I need to do this year to make my dreams come true

1. Past influences that are ending or passing out of my lifeThe Magician

My gaze is first drawn to the computer keyboard in front of her, which first makes me think of my current job. I’m also spending a lot of my non-work time at my computer, but for some reason that doesn’t seem to be the focus here. Or is it? I think this is about all the worlds I find on the internet, the huge web of other people’s lives and ideas that I tap into so obsessively. Which is a wonderful thing because it creates connections between many rare creatures separated from physical touch by miles and miles and often an ocean or two. Because it helps me see the world through other peoples eyes, helps me learn patience and holding my tongue – or speaking up in carefully chosen words. And it’s also terrible because it sometimes renders me nearly bodiless, all mind and heart but no meat to hold it all together and put it into living, breathing, stumbling action. It’s easy to be elegant in cyberspace.

I’m still hanging onto my internet habit for now but at the same time I wish I wouldn’t find it so hard to be disconnected. Maybe it’s time to find and build and strengthen my connections in offline spaces.

2. Issues carried forward from last year into the new yearThe Fool (0.2)

And see how elegantly I trip myself up again? But hey, there’s a camera, so I better give my best. Which reminds me of my ability to be silly and to exaggerate and to make myself look ridiculous on purpose (can you see the Sybill Trelawney-role connection?). I’ve found that people don’t often appreciate that kind of humor in an office context. But I still do it every now and then, if only to remind myself not to take that job so seriously.

I’m not sure I’m able to truly and fully embrace my failures like the Fool here, but I find it comforting that she’ll come with me into the next year of my life. I believe it’s good to have some kind of trickster-fool-clown energy in my life.

(By the way, the companion book says the Magician is the trickster figure here. I still believe they both have aspects of it.)

3. My current material stateFive of Wands

It looks as if I’ve just started to grow something and now that damn volcano is about to erupt all over my veggie patch. But maybe I can fill up that crack for now? And who is that who’s holding up that stick horizontally above my head? Is that some strange kind of dowsing stick? (The three little dangly things remind me of a tool I own, which has similar dangly bits hanging from it, but I’m not quite sure how it fits into this image.)

Well, as far as I can tell, I’m probably the one who’ll be causing the eruption once I hand in my notice at work. For now I’m financially secure (I even just got a raise!) but I will pull the plug on myself sometime soon. And then I’ll be living off my provisions for a while. However, I trust they will last even longer than they need to.

(And yes, I’m thinking about tattoos again. It’s about time I find a new image to put into my skin. You’ll only understand this bit if you know what the varnish layer shows.)

4. My current emotional stateEight of Cups

It’s way past midnight and I’m still awake even though the party is definitely over. Apparently I needed to make really, really sure there was nothing left for me to miss out on (except sleep). It’s not quite clear if it was a fun party or if I just stayed until the end hoping it would eventually become fun. At any rate, it’s time to move on now. Sleep. Rest. Then tidy up and get on with life.

I’d say this also refers to my dissatisfaction with my job. It’s just not very fulfilling, and I’ve tried. Really, I’ve tried.

Now that I’ve slept on it, I would like to add that my emotional dissatisfaction covers more than just the area of work. There is a lack of something, or maybe an imbalance in what I’ve “ingested” emotionally. The solution is the same, however: move on and look for what’s missing elsewhere (which for me mostly means in another kind of framework thse days).

This is also the second casually and non-erotically topless female in a row. Not sure what that’s supposed to tell me.

5. My current spiritual stateThe Lovers

I love that there are three figures in this card, none of which seems to be more in focus than the other ones (i.e. not the traditional Marseille or RWS version of a Lovers card, no duality or binary, and no default monogamy). A perfect triangle-circle, and – much to my delight – a really nice and subtle gender twist hidden in the varnish layer. Venus, Mars, and Mercury – female, male, and transgender/intersex/genderqueer? It’s very rare (and if memory serves, unprecedented) for me to see my life and loves depicted truthfully in a Lovers card (it’s not exactly how I would illustrate my own shade of queerness but the image still says something fundamentally true about it, more so than any other Lovers card I can remember just now).

Then there’s color: RGB (red, green, blue), layers of light that create white when added in full intensity to each other. Since I am both an occasional painter and the child of a man who worked in the wallpaper industry, I’m much more used to thinking in terms of material color (such as paint or ink) and a color model where all three primary colors together create almost-black), so this is another great stretch of the way I make sense of the world for me.

And it’s true, my spirituality doesn’t work in binaries or dualities. I’m always more interested in the colors, the gray areas, the inbetween, the fence, the edge, the third space, both-and or neither-nor instead of either-or. I was about to say that I’m currently circling around, searching for my spiritual “center” but just now I’m thinking that maybe this is my spiritual center after all: non-duality. Hm…

6. Challenges that will be coming into my life in the near futureChevalier of Cups

This tells me about the need to balance my cheerful, social, optimistic side with my need to be alone and dive deep into the octopus’s garden on the back of a bell-eyed octopus. Perhaps I need to create my own tank that provides life support for when there’s no time to dive really deep and come back up in time.

And just because I thought of the song, here’s the Muppet version: In an Octopus’s Garden and here’s the German Sesame Street version I grew up with: Sesamstraße: Im Garten eines Kraken. And here’s a mind-blowingly fascinating article about octopi that I found via the Pirate Borealis blog a while ago.

7. Opportunities that will be coming into my life in the near futureNinety-Nine of Cups

These girls sure have fun but for how long? Even the most wonderful thing gets boring after the umpteenth repetition. But wait, this is the card with the code in the companion book… I’m not quite a programmer myself but I work closely enough to the IT department that I can at least read some of the code written there. And I’ve taught myself some basic SQL query skills so I’ve developed more of an idea about the magic of code. Finally a place where perfectionism is useful! And where I get pretty clear and instant feedback about whether my code worked or not.

Automation. Finding a way to do the boring stuff faster and more efficiently so that there’s more time for the fun parts. Also: check the effect of a change every time, and only change one thing at a time.

This could also refer to a computer-related opportunity (or two) that has already arrived in my life in theory but that I may put into practice later this year. Or it may just refer to the need to create a new framework for those kinds of things that do need repeating over and over again. Because they might just be a ritual and not just a necessary waste of time.

8. Where I would like to be on my next birthday –Chevalier of (VOID)

I imagine the person has just come out of the water and is now walking towards a place to stay for the night (and possibly longer). And there is the phoenix-like burning feather again, which according to the companion book is really(?) a sword – but what use is a sword that is bent like that?

It’s true, I would like to have my life change in a fundamental way. I would like to redesign/rebuild my income-earning and my work (which isn’t necessarily the same) pretty much from scratch. Of course I’ll be able to draw on my experiences but I’ll have to give up being employed in one tidy full-time job. Which is a pretty drastic change. Or maybe it’s not and only seems that way because I’m still wearing the glasses of “normality” here.

At any rate, I need to get my butt in gear or nothing will happen. And this is where some of Egypt’s text comes in:

But where there is no fire, there is no ambition. And no ambition means no accomplishment. Go back home and watch some television; it might distract you from the emptiness inside.

Riffle through the pack and pull out another card. This one’s a fraud. Oh, just put the whole thing away. There’s nothing to see here. Nothing to learn. No secrets hidden anywhere, just a crazy lady blowing smoke up your ass. Sorry, you wasted your money on a bunch of pretty pictures. Go buy into whatever neurosis the advertisers are trying to sell you instead. It’s bleak but at least it’s safe.

This card is lies and giving up hope.

I believe this is another example of layers of voices that I’ve noticed earlier in the Silicon Dawn deck. The first sentence is simply true, and I have indeed been struggling with a lack of fire for quite a while now (I’m still at it). But what follows after that is just plain fireless, hopeless self-talk. It may feel true but it’s not really the truth. And that’s where the lies and the giving up of hope come in. They’re not in the card/reality, but in the story I/we tell ourselves about it. In reality, there is a glorious redorangepurplepink sunset at the beach in this card, a person full of potential (not even gender is a fixed given), and a sense of having a home to return to once the spectacle is over and it gets cold all of a sudden.

So, yes, I would like to lose that lack of fire and the depressing/depressive thought patterns that seem to come with it.

9. What I need to do this year to make my dreams come trueChevalier of Pentacles

An third Chevalier! Did I just mention I wanted more fire? (The Chevaliers are associated with fire in the Silicon Dawn, just like they are in the Thoth deck.) Here I get double fire that should be enough to put some color back into the Chevalier of (VOID). A fire-breathing dragon rising from a huge fire and thick clouds of smoke. A superhero-esque woman throwing a fireball (is she a sister of the crystal ball-throwing Sybill Trelawney to whom I linked already earlier in this post?). A red-haired girl grinning smugly as she hands over a credit card.

Clearly, I need to take action. And this is where pentacles as fire make a whole lot of sense to me, because action needs to be rooted in materiality at some point or it’s nothing but virtual bubbles (cf. The Magician). I need to get away from what’s “killing” me and my fire. I need to aim, focus, and release energy to set things in motion towards my goal. And I need to take care of the price I’m required to pay for it (which can’t be too high judging by the satisfied grin on her face).

(There’s also some stuff about a thirteenth zodiac sign in the companion book but I’m way too tired to wrap my head around that one now.)

All in all I’m noticing that there are quite a few Cups cards, most of which aren’t all too cheerful. Therefore the three fiery Chevaliers make a lot of sense as a counterbalance, even if one of them is also a Cups card.

By the way, I haven’t added pictures for all of the varnish details. For one, these cards are notoriously hard to photograph properly in a way that shows at least some of them, but I also believe that I shouldn’t give all of the deck’s secrets away. Some really have to be discovered by yourselves – or left undiscovered if you’re not fascinated enough by that area of exploration. Either of which is fine.


Four parts of one day


My day today will happen in four easily distinguishable parts, all of which are interesting in some way. So I’m asking the Silicon Dawn what I need to know about these four parts.

MorningThe Fool (0.1)

Looks like I’ll be spending quite some time on the internet, and it’s likely to be more than I initially intended (as it often the case with me and the internet). Because the internet has no end, and I like to finish things.

It’s also true that I’m “pregnant” (and I usually wouldn’t use that particular metaphor if the picture didn’t force it onto me) with a whole kindergarden of ideas. I think they’re at least septuplets (fraternal ones).

And research is one of my favorite strategies to avoid doing stuff. Until I accidentally fall over the edge of a cliff (oops! I didn’t notice it was that close already!) and have to improvise. Fortunately I’m not only a perfectionist but also really good at improvising.

Oh, and I do have a tendency to be a bit shortsighted. Even attempting to plan any long-term stuff often makes me stop thinking properly altogether. But I do have a telescope with me, because I still like taking a small peek at the far-away every now and then. You see, telescopes limit your vision sideways (on all sides), so it’s not quite as overwhelming.

Finally, I already had an inspiration for one of my little septuplet projects and I took a first step towards it. And it’s not even 11 o’clock (thank my neighbor for ringing my bell a good two hours before I had planned to get up).

Early afternoonKing of Swords

I’ll be meeting up with a sort-of friend later. I’m a bit surprised to see this card come up here for that meeting because I perceive my friend as a highly emotional person. But then he also obsessively analyzes his emotional life, so a Swords card may be more suitable than I initially thought.

This guy (the one on the card) is figuring out where to go, making complicated calculations. I get a feeling that this isn’t a flight just for the fun of it but that he also carries some kind of weapon (a bomb?). The red button just emphasizes that aspect. I may have to act as some kind of calming and grounding influence.

Or maybe we will hatch plans together, seeing that we have something in common we both want to do in the foreseeable future (foreseeable even for me, cf. The Fool 0.1).

EveningNinety-Nine of Pentacles

Goodness, what an explosion of energy! I’m not that kind of a gamer (I only do point and click adventures where I don’t have to keep track of life energy, battle power, and how many healing potions I still have compared to how many monsters to defeat – or talk into cooperation), but I still understand that ninety-nine times 1up is a whole fricking lot of power. Could make you invincible. Or burnt-out. Or even bored because very soon there will be no one left to challenge you because it’s no fun when you know you don’t even have an off chance of winning. And fun is important!

Since there will be a group meeting this evening, I’m now expecting some unexpected (how’s that for a paradox?) burst of energy. At the same time, I’ll watch myself to make sure I’m not over-powering anyone else, should that energy and power be mine.

Here’s what Egypt Urnash initially said about the 99s:

If 9 is ‘perfection’ in the numerology of the Tarots I used, 99 is ‘too much perfection’. So much it becomes something else.
I’ve tried to take these silly concepts and treat them with some seriousness. What does the video game concept of “an extra life” mean in the real world? It’s a second chance. It’s a suggestion that what you think is total defeat is just a setback.
The 99s are a reminder that while a lot of things about interpersonal relationships haven’t changed since the Tarot was first invented, some things about the world they’re embedded in have. We have the same old fights in the magical new media congealing on the Internet. We have new traps to fall into – how many friends do you have who are avoiding their depression by counting levels in WoW or some other online RPG? But we also have new metaphors coming from these new trades and tools; we can extend ourselves in surprising ways.

There’s good stuff in that quote. Today, “too much perfection” to me means totally overdoing the perfectionism in a totally unimportant area, which leads to something that is definitely not perfect – because at some point you end up with something devoid of all life.

I also like the idea of a second chance, and the relief you feel when you notice you just got one (but also tension because you don’t want to fuck up things again, cf. The Fool 0.1).

I may have to get back to you about this one – after all, it’s a group and as such I have no idea what everyone will bring to the table and what will happen with that once we meet.

NightChevalier of (VOID)

A double sunset and someone walking away from the sea. Fingerprints from me on the glossy parts of the picture. And a feather that is being dropped (is it burning?).

The blackness fits with the time of day, and I feel comfortable in the solitude of that card. It feels meditative, but also a bit sad. An ending. But the maybe-burning feather also reminds me of phoenixes and being reborn – if nothing else, then the next morning.

While the fingerprints suggest I may leave some temporary traces, this won’t be a hugely productive night. Instead, it will be a time for quiet reflection. Sounds good to me!

After reading the text from the companion book for this card, I also have to say that I just can’t see the complete hopelessness and emptiness in the (VOID) cards that Egypt Urnash describes. Because these cards aren’t empty at all if you look at them right. And maybe sometimes we need to disappear a little, or rather, give up our illusion of being separate from the rest of this world and just merge with it. I’m not saying I’m good at that, mind you, but it doesn’t seem like something horrible to me (my ego, however, would beg to differ).

Again, the Silicon Dawn offers layers and layers of meaning and propels me into philosophy/spirituality land at the most unexpected points. I like!

P.S. I’ll upload pictures later. Ran out of time to do that just now!


Edited to add:

It’s after “evening” now and I’ve just returned home. I’m adding the pictures I promised now, and I can already give myself feedback (that’s the one really good thing about draws for the day).

Morning was pretty much as I described. I didn’t exactly waste time but I also wasn’t the most efficient. But then I’m on a holiday, so efficiency isn’t the #1 priority for me just now. Around noon I also realized that the Fool’s pregnancy also means she’s not quite ready to give birth, so I’m totally fine with not having finished anything (except, sort of, this post).

My friend was indeed in analyzing mode when we met in the early afternoon. And after some initial annoyedness with him because he once again just launched into what is going on for him at the moment before we had even sat down (to be fair: I often do that as well, in my way, so I can’t seriously point my finger here) we eventually had a really interesting exchange of thoughts. Not at all unemotional but still very think-y (which is a combination I enjoy a lot). I also just notice that I was feeling quite calm and grounded most of the time. I even managed to put some of my own muddled stuff into words as I tried to explain a few things to him, which helped me understand myself a bit better.

And yes, my evening did bring an unexpected eruption. We did a group perception exercise and suddenly we were talking about the proverbial elephant that had been standing around in the living-room all the time, noticed by everyone but never quite addressed. As I so often do with these elephants, I was the one to describe my perception of the situation more bluntly than the others. I have to admit, though, that I went a bit overboard and only realized afterwards that I had “hit” another group member harder than I intended to. When I realized that, I apologized and added some balance to my original judgment, but I could still see the damage was done. And when I realized that I had done exactly what the cards had warned me not to do, I secretly kicked myself in the butt for my failure to put two and two together early enough. (I don’t regret having said something but I do regret my harshness. This one time, the harshness really hadn’t been my job, and I still delivered it because that’s what I usually do.) Oh well. I hope it will all seem less dramatic once everybody has slept on it.

Now it is night and I’m pretty wiped out. I had planned to do a reading for someone, but I think I’ll postpone that until tomorrow. Instead, I will do a small tour of my main internet stops, and then I will go to bed early. Following from the previous card the subtle phonenix theme of this one lets me be optimistic that there won’t be any lasting damage to either the group or the person as a result of my actions.

Gushing. Dark. Freakishness. Nostalgia. Kick-ass. Love. Silicon Dawn.


I’m having high hopes for the Tarot of the Silicon Dawn.

Ever since I saw the first images of the deck-in-progress over at Aeclectic Tarot, I knew this one would be a good one. Any creation where neither gender nor morals are a binary, where sexuality isn’t only a matter of genitals (or even bodies), where meanings are twisted and many-layered, where shapeshifting is taking for granted, where language (in both pictures and words) takes its references and metaphors from many sources and mixes them into one deliciously complex cocktail that changes taste with every sip, where colors aren’t predominantly pastel, and where intelligence is a sparkling undercurrent throughout it all is pretty much guaranteed to land in the small area of things I highly, highly appreciate. Especially if it features the kinds (yes, plural) of femininity that I find myself connected to. The Tarot of the Silicon Dawn delivered on all of these accounts before I even had the deck.

So far, I’ve deliberately ignored most other people’s opinions about the deck because I wanted to discover it on my own. What I did notice, however, was that this deck didn’t seem ‘meh’ to anyone.

This morning, I read the introductory bits of the companion book. And then I thought I really should properly meet this deck after I’ve looked longingly at it from afar for such a long time (the creation process started in 2007). I hope this isn’t turning into some awkward fan-meets-star situation. Instead, I’m hoping for us to develop a sisterfreak companionship, and/or to find another Auntie of the Kate Bornstein kind. But hey, no pressure.

So here we are. *shuffle, shuffle* Hi. :-)

Four of Wands. *deep sigh* Hi. Uh, excuse the mess. I was busy planning my escape.

Oh. Sorry. You look a bit defensive. I guess my expectations are a bit intimidating?

Fool (-1). Aaaaaaarrghh! Get your filthy tentacles off me!

*stepping back, hands held up in a deescalating gesture* Whoa. You seem a bit jumpy today. How about we find ourselves a quiet spot and I buy you a drink?

White galaxy. *blank stare* Sure.

Okay. How about here: Seven of Wands.

*raising eyebrow* You have a strange taste in quiet spots. Not quite what I expected. But I guess it’s fine as long as  you brought an extra blanket. And you mentioned a drink?

Well, what would you like?

Nine of Wands. I know a party we could crash. *suppressed smile* There will be butches.

*laughing* Alright, I see you’ve already figured me out. So, while we walk over there, why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself. Like, what’s the most important thing I should know about you?

Ten of Swords. I’m depressed and paranoid. My world is dark and hopeless. I’m bleeding from my eyes.

*thinking to myself* Oh, another attempt at scaring me away. Nice try, sweetheart.
*saying out loud* Sorry to hear you’re feeling like shit right now. Let me know if you need me to just shut up and listen or if you want my ideas.

And what’s that piece of paper all about?

99 of Wands. I’m overwhelmed by ideas, by things to do, by worlds to create and inhabit, by the hugeness of the Universe. It’s all too much for me to deal with. Wanna go look at baby animals?

Sure, if you need a squeal-mate I’m all yours. The last thing I squealed about was a tiny little mouse that I saw on our terrace. It had huuuge black eyes and big ears, and a teeny, tiny, thin tail. I was surprised it even went out in that kind of freezing cold. So I put some seeds out near the entrance of its home. By the way, I get the thing about being petrified by all the things I want to do. What are all those Wands cards about anyway?

Queen of (VOID). Have you ever been in the desert at night and saw how many fucking stars there actually are? And then you lost all sense of who you are in relation to that?

Not quite at that level, no. But I’m also not quite sure who I am at this point in my life, so I can relate to the bit about lacking a point of reference of appropriate scale to measure yourself against. I thought you might be such a point of reference for me. A point. Not the point. What do you think?

The High Priestess. You need a new stage, baby. You need to come out from the observing position behind the scenes and put yourself into the spotlight. “Transmit messages about who you are. No matter who you are.” Remember San Francisco. Remember the kraß. Remember the magic. You have all the credentials you need. Now start dancing again.

Wow. You’re quoting Team Dresch at me? Girl, you do speak my language. At least an ancient form of it.
So you think I need to look at my own past, the parts that I’m sorely missing from back then? And then I suppose I’m meant to find a space where I can do a revival performance of that? Like we did with Rocky Horror? But isn’t that all just nostalgia? How can I get back to these parts when I feel so disconnected from them that I’m not even sure it was really me who did these things? And when there are other parts that I really don’t want to reconnect with?

The Chariot. You’re analyzing things so much that you’re in danger of breaking them. That didn’t work for poetry, and it doesn’t work for this. Are you aware that this is backstage from the High Priestess? You gotta focus on getting your butt in gear, on reconnecting your mind with your body. Apparently you have friends to help you with that.

Touché on the need to reconnect mind and body. I guess it’s no coincidence that we’re moving away from the cooler colors here? So what’s a good next step to take to move towards this reconnection?

Two of Pentacles. Get naked. Push your buttons. Tell yourself the stories of your tattoos again. Think about snakes and wings. Make it simple.

I think I know what you mean… And I think that’s plenty for me to think about for now. By which I mean, I’ll need to let this one sink in a bit. Chew on it. Digest it. You know.

Anything else you want to tell me before we part ways for now?

Six of Wands. “Dip me in honey and throw me to the goth chicks.”

I love you. That’s a Kate Bornstein quote. This is also a pretty Lady-Gaga-esque picture. I think I’ll go download some music.
But before I leave you for now, tell me how are you feeling now?

The Hermit. I’m feeling a little foolish for all the drama. But I don’t mind because I feel inspired in a totally manageable shape. I’ll be in my batcave, tweaking the cogs. Or maybe it’s a holodeck. In any case, I’m busy now. See you later.

See you. And, hey, if you ever feel like the Ten of Swords again, go read some Kate Bornstein. She has some great ideas for things to do instead of dying. Love ya, babe.


Phew. I think that went pretty well for a first encounter. I’m happy the Silicon Dawn seems willing and able to plunge right into the middle of any mess instead of wasting time with small talk and pleasantries. Even at a casual glance or two, these cards offer so many different perspectives each that I could totally go over this selection again and come up with yet another level of this conversation. And I haven’t even started to read what Egypt Urnash herself says about them in the book.

Yes indeed. This is a good one. Definitely a deck that I’d pick for an extended period of exclusive use in a heartbeat. IT has enough queer (here used mostly but not exclusively in the sense of “weird, odd, strange”) philosophy, kinky spirituality, and brilliant foolishness to keep me challenged and inspired for much longer than this brief meeting.

New Deck: Tarot of the Silicon Dawn


I didn’t expect to do many readings last week, so I’m not too disappointed that things really turned out that way. After all, the Housewives Tarot and I already spent a lot of time together in the past, I know that deck is a keeper, so it’ll be there whenever I get back to it.

So, onward to the next deck! I hope it will be something really interesting because I’m on holidays now and I will celebrate my birthday next week.

The random number generator has given me these three to choose from:


You know what? I’ll ignore all of these suggestions and go with the Tarot of the Silicon Dawn. I’ve been looking forward to use this deck ever since I got it, and I was hoping it would not come up as a suggestion earlier because I knew I wouldn’t have had much time for it. But I also was hoping it would come up during my holiday. So, since none of the three suggested decks seem like what I want to spend my birthday week and first week of the holiday with, I’m for once going completely with what I want. So there.

I’ll be using all the cards, and I’m really, really curious about the world Egypt Urnash has created in this deck.

Added 5 February 2012:
All the cards except the two title cards, that is.

The grand house tour with the Housewives


What better spread to use with the my old pals from the Housewives Tarot than a home-themed one? I adapted this spread from the free PDF with three spread ideas that is offered for download over at Tarosophy.

1. Hallway: Where I am right now
2. Kitchen: What nourishes me
3. Study: What I need to learn next
4. Children’s Room: What delights me
5. Bedroom: What gives me rest and relaxation
6. Bathroom: What I need to flush away/get rid of
7. Basement: What from the past I should keep
8. Attic: What I should aim for next
9. Staircase: How I can get there

1. Hallway: Where I am right nowNine of Wands

A woman has climbed beyond where most of the cleaning tools can reach. She wears a little black cocktail dress and opera-length gloves, but she also carries a bucket and wiping cloth.

It’s time to celebrate a success but there will be more work to do later on, on a higher level than before.

This could refer to my job situation where I hope to successfully finish off a project before my holiday, but where I also know I’ll be coming back to more detail-fixing work after my weeks off.

2. Kitchen: What nourishes meThe Emperor

A man whose body is made entirely from canned food. And a faint recipe sheet in the background with instructions to make several dishes from scratch.

This is a pretty literal card, and an amusing one at that! For at least a year now, I’ve been eating a lot of food that I haven’t cooked from scratch but bought pre-made or ready-made at the supermarket near my workplace or as take-out. While I can afford to keep doing that financially, I still sometimes miss making my own food from scratch (despite not being much of an enthusiastic cook!). I find myself lazy, and I suspect that even though I usually go for relatively healthy options, I’m still eating quite a bit of stuff that I wouldn’t put into my own meals if I made them from scratch (e.g. glutamate, food colorings, unknown “aromas,” preservatives, etc.). Therefore I conclude that it would nourish me better if I made at least half of my meals per week myself again. Especially since food has come up as a spiritually-related topic anyway. I would have to become more organized and structure my days better, but I suppose that would also do me good.

Then again, this could also (less literally) mean that it’s fine to rely on some pre-produced somethings, that I don’t have to reinvent the wheel in every situation, that I can build on a preexisting structure. I’ll have to think about this some more to see what exactly this might be referring to.

3. Study: What I need to learn nextQueen of Wands

This queen invites someone in, while remaining seated on her armchair-throne. The colors are pretty bland. She lets others come to her and directs them elsewhere, but she isn’t overexerting herself. She also looks as if she has every right to do just that (she still is a queen, after all!), but she doesn’t flaunt that.

This could be about pulling the reigns from a more relaxed and self-assured position than I often do at work. The fire is still there (it is a Wands card) but she doesn’t let it show quite so obviously. She is still a worker (her royal staff ends in a broom at the bottom), so she’s not acting superior to anyone else, she’s just showing them the way – and by that, she gets her way. She is secure on her throne, but there is no need for her to show off her power. I definitely could use an attitude that assumed the power I have without feeling the need to constantly defend it. I also might do good not to flare up with anger (if only inside) when things don’t go as I wish but to calmly direct them to be the way they should be. At any rate, this is a very interesting card to consider for this position!

4. Children’s Room: What delights meQueen of Pentacles

Another queen! This one pats her husband, child, and dog goodbye as she goes off to earn (or spend?) some more money. Husband and child both carry bags filled with food, so everyone seems taken care of materially. She does look a bit condescending, though.

I have neither husband nor child nor pet, so I’m wondering what aspect of my life this is about. It’s true, I enjoy taking care of things competently, and I sometimes get a bit condescending towards a specific kind of coworker (those who play(?) dumb until someone else solves their problems). I’m also a pretty practical/pragmatic person at work. I’m not sure any of these actually delight me, but then there isn’t much that I find truly enjoyable about my job anyway.

What does delight me, however, is the fact that I have already decided to quit that job sometime later this year. That would also mean leaving all these coworkers behind and taking care only for myself – full risk, and full benefits for me. So I guess the saying goodbye aspect of this card is the relevant one here.

5. Bedroom: What gives me rest and relaxationFive of Swords

A dress (like for a paperdoll) is cut out by several pairs of scissors, and there is thread and a hand holding a sewing needle.

Another wonderfully literal card! I much enjoy creating things with my hands, especially by sewing. The work I do at my paid job falls into the category of knowledge work and is pretty “invisible” most of the time, so making something tangible is a great balance for that. In fact, that’s one of the things on which I want to spend a noteworthy amount of time during my holiday. Great call!

6. Bathroom: What I need to flush away/get rid ofStrength

A box of aluminum-and-soap scrub pads, surrounded by six of them.

Interesting card for the position to get rid of! I’m thinking of several things here. Scrub pads like these suggest a forceful and not-so-gentle way to get rid of some tough, dried-in old dirt. That could mean I need to be more gentle in approaching any figurative “cleaning” matters. The card also suggest a kind of work that basically is the same over and over again. This would mean I need to get rid of as many routine tasks as possible (this would apply to my job again). I believe both of these interpretations go together well. The card could also mean I need to get rid of the idea that I have to do all the work myself – which ties it back nicely to the Queen of Wands.

7. Basement: What I should keep from the pastSix of Swords

Six pointy knives stand upright (are they switch blades? meat knives?). Three faces of the same woman change their expression from grumpy to excited. A woman carrying a handbag and round, black bag waves goodbye as she leaves the scene.

The element that sticks out to me most is the bag she’s carrying – it looks just like my partner’s frame drum bag (the one I patterned my own after, only mine isn’t black). So this could be telling me not to give up drumming. Then again, drumming isn’t exactly from the past because I do it nearly every morning.

So what else could this be about? Except for the already-mentioned desire to move on to a different work life (which also is a present issue and not a past one. Maybe it’s just about me not holding a grudge but moving from grumpy to happy in a relatively short period of time.

Or does any of you have any ideas?

8. Attic: What I should aim for nextNine of Cups

A woman has just got a Christmas present from her partner. Nine crystal glasses are floating above them, adding some festive sparkle.

Getting lots of presents! ;-) Seriously, though, the Christmas tree makes me think of long-term plans (for me, more than a few months in advance is long-term). That fits with my vague intention to have a different and better work life by the time I turn 40 (which will be in roughly a year). The glasses suggest clarity to me, which goes well with any plans. I might do well to more clearly define what kind of “present” I would like to get, and being open to receive good things certainly won’t hurt, either.

9. Staircase: How I can get thereAce of Cups

A hand holds a wine glass; in the background are household tips about drinks.

If I should aim for the Nine of Cups, and this is the Ace of Cups, I’d say the answer is simple: By taking the first step! Also, by following useful advice I may get. And by paying attention to how I feel about things and taking that seriously.

All in all, this is a pretty balanced spread. All suits/elements are present, as are two majors.

[Note: The individual card images in this post are from Taroteca. The scanning mistakes in the Queen of Pentacles and the Nine of Cups are also from there.]